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Frightening Men’s Swim Trend ‘09 - Short Shorts

The trend for males from Miami Swim this past weekend, showcasing designer swimwear for Summer ‘09, is definitely a fright of sorts. Every designer that included men’s swim trunks (or lack of trunks) included short shorts.

Short shorts.

On guys. Male short shorts.

Every guy I know only wears shorts down to his knees, and swimwear is no exception. I don’t think any straight men, at least American ones, will adopt this look. First of all, straight men don’t follow trends in fashion, and boy do I love them for that! Consdering that, this isn’t such an actual fright with any danger to impact our view at the beach, right?

Yes, but it’s still a fright in and of looking at the photos, itself. If you look closely at the pictures, you should notice not only do these men wear short shorts, but they actually “nair” for short shorts.

Another thing one could never get any straight man I’ve ever known to do is to consider shaving at all, at least when it comes to their own legs. (I happen to wish men would shave their armpits, and have vocalized this to men in my life. 100% of them firmly rejected the idea, period [even trimming, silly boys].)

So either the designer fashion world’s male aspect is pure fantasy, product-less eye candy for girls’ dreams (I think most secretly do hate overly hairy bodies - no fair!), or actually all for gay men. I’m sure designer/expensive men’s apparel is actually all aimed to gay men, because straight men wouldn’t pay for it. I wouldn’t even ever subject a boyfriend to it with gifts, I see no need. Except there’s one sad flaw in this - in that the women looking at fashion shows and ads hope to be looking at straight men when it is men they see, right?, and they’re clearly not, at least not the character these models portray in these getups. So do women actually enjoy looking at the male models? (I don’t, but I personally am not attracted to the muscular type and even the rugged or pretty-boy types anyway.) I hope this doesn’t mess with women’s avoiding-gay-dar. Ouch.

If you’ve had enough cerebral discussion on silly fashion, or are just still interested or want a different view, especially one from a male himself, stay tuned for a snarky straight male’s POV on this “trend” a bit later!

by Designer Ella on July 21, 2008


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16 Comments:

Chris Says:

First off my first impression was that these guys look like terminators, and that very very few men can pull off that type of suit in the first place. We men couldnt care less what we wear as long as it isnt a speedo (at least for me) or a flamboyant color.

If I was given a suit to wear id wear it without a thought, but something this out there will just get a no.

Somya Says:

Wow, this one sure is not needed but is much better than the idea of guys hanging out in t-backs! It’s true that men are fast becoming more and more conscious of their looks and body type and when one slaughters oneself to look the best one can, they have got every right to flaunt it, right?

James S. Says:

They might be different but they looks hot. Can you imagine how girls will run after you??? Every man one to look the best piece they can.

Designer Ella Says:

Men need to realize that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Be true to one’s self and accentuate your natural positives. If you’re a nerd, show it off - for one thing. Some women actually hate athletic bodies and muscle men, and Brad Pitt types, etc. I am one of them.

I also lurve my own petiteness, short legs and all, and love my body in its not-yet-lost-ALL-the-weight-yet phase. Some men love skinny girls, others love hips … what every person should do is be true to their body’s natural inclination, while still attempting to be healthy enough to live a long life, while at the same time, please their own eyes for how they prefer to see their own sex, or at least not go against it.

MHO.

jean forichon Says:

Get a life! These men look great with the shorts. What is so frightening???? You are the one with the problem…..

LRB Says:

I strongly repeat those words that Ella says and i am agreed with full extent.Every body has its own point of views, you don’t push any one to have thinking like as you want him/ her to think.

JASMINE Says:

I love looking at guys in shorts that are shorter. To the knees is so old fashioned, I want to see guys wear 3-4 inch inseams. The guys at the top of this page are hot, and if guys would start seeing them walking around in that type of shorts maybe they would open their eyes and start exercising to look just as hot, not the fat slobs so many have accepted be and wearing shirts and longer shorts have allowed them to do so.

Designer Ella Says:

I completely disagree, those swim trunks are sized just like boxers. Why is it so acceptable for swimwear to be even skimpier than underwear, esp. for women? Men usually are and should be, imho, more covered up and modest. It’s CLASSIER to have shorts that go to the knee, you know the new/modern women’s shorts do, too (especially on petites)!!

Secondly, while I’m not promoting unhealthy extra weight, I don’t want “all” men (or any man whose personality or chemistry I might like/mesh with) to work out hard so they get huge muscles. I like some trim & firm just fine, sure, but only on a nice slender body, and even much prefer super skinny-no-muscles to over bulky in any way. These models are NOT my cup of tea. One has more definition in his legs than I’ve ever seen AND has man boobs, sure they’re rock hard pecs, but big boobies, even if not droopy. A little “mound” that’s mostly firm, on the other hand, is great, but not chests bigger than a(n) AA cup! Another ALIEN, YES, ALIEN, look is the stomachs with bajillions of lumps people call “six packs” as if that’s a good thing? No way!!! Ewwie!!!

Now let’s not forget the worst point: THEY NAIR FOR SHORT SHORTS!!

I don’t want a swimmer or model who shaves his legs more than I do!!! (I’m from the north, after all.)

Eric Says:

Jasmine is right. I love short shorts. I’m not gay, and I’ll put up with some puzzling looks to have my legs free on a hot day or when running. Give me 3″ shorts or move me to Alaska!!

Designer Ella Says:

Well, yeah, some don’t like it hot. And when girls don’t have “thunder thighs” they could do the same - however living in FL, even in August, I wear capris and am fine.

marikojuu Says:

I’ll tel you guys in china gay or not actually wear short shorts like this to go swimming but usually chinese guys never wear shorts to go outside!
lol make me laugh the thing about the armpits, i mean all the smell stays inside the hair eww.

Designer Ella Says:

Oh I actually mis-spoke about the shaving thing, perhaps I should edit the entry. Actually most men I know often shave their faces, just no more is the standard.

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Rusty Says:

I dont think its necessarily a bad trend… board shorts make you feel like youre swimming fully dressed, because you kinda are. And straight guys do follow fashions btw! Movie stars (Brad Pitt), sports stars, surf rockers (Raw Kona) are adopting it… yeah I dunno

Rjay Says:

I’m so afraid that equating male fashion trends with homosexuality, male short shorts is an abomination, sh!t like that is sexist. Sur, women can do he-man, butch activities, why can’t men do effeminate activities?

Designer Ella Says:

Rusty that’s a good point, those big trunks get all sopped down, kind of like when anyone wears a t-shirt in the water. Now I’m torn. :-(

I actually don’t think this is homosexual-like, except maybe for the fact that those men like to look good and perhaps show that off, and are unafraid of what it might look like - sure good things to many. However I just don’t like men showing off like this OR even this type of body.

So with me, it’s actually more of the opposite in a small way, they look too manly with muscles hanging out of clothes for me.

I like a happy medium … girly in some ways is great, even.

I apologize for how anything on this page may appear, if negative toward any sexuality.

Also, so what if it’s male fashion one’s bashing? If we bash female fashions, we should be able to do the same with male clothes. (And I also think it’s more designer than street, but I won’t go further into the sexuality questions on that..)

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