I’ve stayed away from the whole Tom/Katie disastrous “plot,” because I just figured they weren’t crossing my territory. But now they’ve become offensive to the style world, and are apparently actually fooling people, this time(?)

Tom Cruise and *coughchokehack* fiancée, Katie Holmes were voted one of the most fashionable *hack* couples by AOL style expert, Danielle Dubin.

I’m sorry, but Katie looks horrible. Her jeans are tapered(!!!) and are too long. (We learn once more, that no one is too good for a tailor.) They bunch up from the ankle to the calf, and make her feet look like boats. (I’d also like to suggest a cute, brown, perhaps tweed, kitten heel for the casual affairs.) And while I’m at it, the girl’s hair needs a styling and she should lose the futuristic jacket that eerily “goes” with Tom’s. *shudder*

I used to like that adorable Katie, but now she is dead to me.

(See more fashionable, or not, couples from People.)

And please excuse me for being so unpresentably sickened during this article.

Ryan Seacrest is starting his own “humorous” fashion label, “R,” but the word, “fashion” is used loosely by me.

The 30-year-old American Idol host, who says he’s always had a taste for fashion, is now offering his own line of men’s and women’s T’s, tanks, distressed [polo] shirts as well as sweaters, reports USA Today.

Polo shirts are refined preppy/country club, and he’s going to manufacture distressed polos? That’s just wrong, and I can’t picture it. Are they going to be worn out, with holes? Oh, the humanity.

As for whose backs the shirts have already adorned, they include those of Lindsay Lohan, Kelly Ripa, Will Smith, Ryan Cabrera and first Idol winner Kelly Clarkson. [Seacrest] often wears his personally designed creations on Idol.

The wishtobe maven has his own fashion advice to give.

Seacrest has one main tip for fans: “The combination of a blazer over any T-shirt with a pair of jeans is foolproof.”

Ella says, “Ryan Seacrest, Out! of style.”

I am on vacation in the charming boondocks of Cape Cod for part of the summer.

Le sigh. My words of wisdom about this situation are:

I love nature, but I don’t want to be in it.

(I have the slight technology of dial-up on my laptop, but you might expect a delay or lack in posting of my newly christened weekly entries.)